tattered 10 Back to Magazine

Get blackout drunk with Chris Connolly and hear all of his best jail tales.

“Our decision to throw Chris into the Tattered Ten gauntlet was an easy one. Not only is Mr. Connolly known for cutting a swath of devastation on a board, but he also has a reputation for drunken destruction as well. When I went into this, I knew of Chris’ legendary exploits, but I was still given a caveat: Chris harbours a Dark Passenger—the Black Out. Fortunately, we were lucky enough to get the goods before the Dark Passenger rose. But rest assured; rise it did. At first there was only minor damage: throwing things around, focusing chairs, I was hit over the back with the metal racking Chris tore out of the oven. But then, after the ventriloquist dummy was stuffed in both the oven and the dishwasher while both appliances were running, he picked up my terabyte hard drive and threw it against the wall destroying its contents. Tattered might not be the only word that can sum up my encounter with Chris Connolly…”

You might recognize the name William Strobeck as the filmer behind Photosynthesis, or maybe you recognize “Fat Bill” by his chipped-tooth and charm, either way, the personality that exudes from Strobeck is like no other, and it comes across in the careful thought he puts in to each of the films he makes, including choosing titles and music. William has been around New York City for a long time doing what he does best, living his life how he wants to and not giving a fuck what anyone else thinks. One day I’ll expose myself and tell you how I met this guy, but until then I’ll just expose him in this interview.

5BORO rider Joe Tookmanian is an underrated legend from the armpit of America: New Jersey. Known for his ambidextrous ways on the board, Took’s sponsors are finally catching on and taking his amateur career to professional in the spring when the new 5BORO video is released. As long as I’ve known the 5BORO crew, one thing comes to mind. These motherfuckers like to party. Although Joe lives less of an alcoholic lifestyle, he was stoked to sit down with me over a box of cigars and some cheap scotch. Team manager Tom (Tombo) Colabraro also joined in to keep the laughs going.

Color managed to pull some strings and get Fubar‘s Terry and Deaner to sit down between working the rigs and camping in garages, long enough to put back a few cold ones and do a tattered interview.

“I would basically just be driving around and I would get all my friends on the boat and like, after some swashbuckling-type adventures, we would finally end up at Cabo Wabo, Sammy Hagar’s bar. In the South somewhere. Then we’d just party there, maybe like chop down a couple of coconut trees, take ‘em back with us, make a slingshot out of them or something…”

New York Skate Ambassador Billy Rohan has established himself as one of the most innovative and crazy motherfuckers in the industry. Now taking a more serious turn in life, the husband-to-be still finds time to push around the city, teach, take classes at NYU, run the park at 12th and A, and live like there’s no tomorrow. Normally Tattered Ten is reserved for conversations under the influence, but Billy is both hilarious and crazy enough to do it stone-cold sober.

Recently, while on a ten-day demo tour in Canada, we were at a bar in Ottawa talking to a tattoo artist friend of mine and David Gravette mentioned that he wanted to get “Meth Breath” in the upper and lower inside of his lips. So the next morning, when we were all together again I asked him what he wanted to do for the day and he said, “Let’s get that tattoo!” I seriously thought it was just bar talk, but there we were at the parlor, just hours after leaving the bar. It was later in the same tour when we were at the Standard (another bar) in Ottawa that I asked David to do this Tattered Ten. Judging by his state of sobriety, I knew he was sufficiently well-influenced to get it done: he’d already downed several Jack and Cokes as well as a few extra tall bottles of Corona. After a few more we rolled out of the bar and did the interview in the inside of a BMO instant teller, to get away from the noise. After ten days on the road with him, I’d already learned that not only was David a man of his word, but one of the gnarliest skaters I have ever witnessed live and one of the nicest. But on top of all that, and most importantly for me, he is a writer’s dream. He has some of the most hilarious stories and is always down for anything fun.

It was just another hazy night in front of the booter [computer], until Alien informed me that he had drunk seven beers and had already moved onto the Jack Daniels. Perfect, tattered both ways, I’m baked like a cake and Alien’s drunk as a skunk. He was super enthused about his new Apple computer that he’d just bought from Billy Marks and insisted that we do the interview on iChat. I’d thought Alien had already laid down most of his stories on me, but it turns out he still has more. So here it is ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, dolts and dob-brains, an interview with one of the wildest, weirdest, one-of-a-kind humans on the earth. The Alien.

Booze, Tom Asta, Chima Ferguson and a
recording device.